I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
