So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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