btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
