I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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