I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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