Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
