We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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