I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
