Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
