Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
