so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
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