why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Randomize
