considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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