I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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