tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
