Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Do vagina's smell?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
A+ Viking dick
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
