They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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