Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I think my moral compass just broke
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
