Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
