i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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