but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
