His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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