Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
