I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Green mimosas i think yes
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Randomize
