Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
