I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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