don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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