he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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