Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I think your dad took our porno
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
