it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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