Can Purell be used as lube?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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