I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
