I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
