I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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