Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
God, I missed his penis.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
