careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
