Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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