The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
