yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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