holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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