Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
