Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
