Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
