ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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