FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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