tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
