We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
