you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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