This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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