You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
