i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
