I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
i believe in u and ur pee
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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